Muscle up a little closer

by Ceindreadh

"I'm not sure I like the sound of this," grumbled Napoleon as he went through a routine of stretches in the living room of his apartment. It wasn't in its usual pristine condition. All the furniture had been pushed back against the wall, and there were a few gym mats in the resulting vacant space.

"What is there not to like?" asked Illya, a smile flickering on his face. "Your last medical indicated that you were a little less than fully fit. You felt it beneath your dignity to attend the callisthenic's sessions organized at headquarters."

"Those sessions are for rookies, straight off the sub from Survival School," interrupted Napoleon. "Not the Chief Enforcement Agent for North America."

Illya rolled his eyes, "And the fact that you do not fit into your gym clothes quite as well as you used to has absolutely nothing to do with it, hmm?" He jabbed at his partner's stomach with a rolled up newspaper. "I remember when this used to be hard as a board, and now look how flabby you're getting."

"Flabby?" said Napoleon, indignantly, knocking the newspaper away. "I am not flabby...okay, so I seem to have acquired a few extra pounds here and there..."

"And there, and there, and there," added Illya, indicating various spots on Napoleon's body.

"...but it's only natural for a person to gain weight as they age. And these last few months I've been doing so much administrative training that it's no wonder I haven't been able to exercise as often as usual," continued Napoleon, ignoring Illya's interruption. "Besides, so long as my muscles are still in good working order, I can carry a few extra pounds."

"Well that is what we are here for," said Illya, as he stripped off his top and sweatpants to reveal a t-shirt and shorts that were tight enough to prove that he was not carrying any extra pounds. "Your muscles are not all in good working order, and Dr. Harte has only given you six weeks to rectify the lapse. Since you will not train at Headquarters, it falls to me to make sure that every muscle in your body receives a proper regular workout." Without further comment, Illya started into his warm up routine of stretches.

"I can think of one set of muscles that's getting a workout right now," muttered Napoleon, as he watched Illya bend over to touch his toes. He was starting to wish that he'd worn a slightly larger pair of shorts himself; these ones were definitely starting to feel a little tight.

"This isn't going to be too strenuous a workout?" he asked a little plaintively as Illya straightened up. "I mean, I'd hate to be too exhausted for later." He turned his most seductive voice on Illya, wondering if he could distract his partner from the exercise routine that had been planned out.

Illya smiled at Napoleon. "I'm sure we could come to some...arrangement," he said, his voice oozing sweetness and a deceptively innocent smile on his face as he reached out to Napoleon.

Napoleon smiled back at Illya and took the outstretched hand. Too late he realized his mistake, but by then he had been flipped onto his back on one of the gym mats. Seconds later an energetic Russian landed on top of him and pinned his hands to the ground. "Business before pleasure Napasha. Every muscle in your body is going to get a workout today," said Illya, the smile on his face looking more seductive and less innocent by the second. "But do not worry...you will not be lacking in pleasure from this workout...after all, the heart is a muscle too, and I intend to spend a lot of time concentrating on it!"